“Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.” – Ralph Marston
How many times do you find yourself trying to look for who or what is to blame in a situation that is not exactly ideal for you? Does it help? Does it produce any lasting results? I’m talking about good results here, not about lasting results like anger, annoyance, stress, or anything in that category. In my experience, blame serves no purpose.
Ending blame is one of the best decisions you can make in your life. Let me tell you why.
1. There’s no benefit to it. If you blame yourself or blame someone else and just make them feel bad about themselves or about life, there is no benefit. Instead try responsibility. You did something wrong? Let go of the blame, take responsibility, learn from it, and move on to do better next time.
2. It’s stagnant. When we blame, we don’t progress. We get stuck into a who’s fault is it situation and stay there until we finally forget or somehow decide to let go of the blame
3. It’s destructive. Do you remember the last time you were blamed for something or you blamed yourself for something? It didn’t exactly feel good. Most of the times being blamed by ourselves or by someone else just makes us feel bad, but it doesn’t necessarily push us to be better.
4. It destroys relationships. Ongoing blame will destroy the relationship we have with ourselves and with other people.
It’s disempowering. Blame is not about making someone acknowledge what they did in the hope that they would do better next time, blame is about humiliating the other person.
5. It’s disempowering. Blame is not about making someone acknowledge what they did in the hope that they would do better next time, blame is about humiliating the other person.
Next time you’re angry and want to cast blame on someone or yourself, take a step back, take responsibility for what was done wrong, understand how you can change that and improve right now so when you’re faced with a similar situation again, you will act differently, and then…let go. You don’t gain anything by punishing and blaming, but you gain everything by letting go. Furthermore, if someone tries to make you feel bad or humiliate you by blaming you, shift it into responsibility, be accountable for what you did wrong, work on ways to fix things if possible, but let go of that guilt associated with blame.