When You Know, You Know

ColoradoClouds1I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who just celebrated his first wedding anniversary. As we were reminiscing about relationships, love, how we get from that first date to that moment when we know all we want is our person. He said: “You know, we had been together for a while and I always knew I was going to marry her. Then I went on this trip with some guys. While I was on the trip I just felt alone and realized I wished she had been there to experience everything with me. That’s when it hit me! I just wanted her. From then on, it was all about planning the perfect proposal.”

And that’s exactly what he did, he planned the perfect proposal, honoring everything he knew she would like, involving a surprisingly big group of people in the whole planning process, while at the same time managing to keep everything a secret from her.

When I asked him how he knew, how he was sure about it, he just talked about her love, her kindness, her loyalty, and a number of other things that he loved about her. Then he added: “Proposing for us is like deciding to have a baby for a woman. I think its okay to have doubts. I think its necessary to have doubts. Doubts can only help you figure out the path you want to take. Either to move forward with the plan or to backtrack.”

As he’s celebrating his first wedding anniversary and looking towards the future, there’s a glow on his face. He’s happy with his decision and going forward with his plan.

I realized knowing is not about being 100% sure, it’s about deciding you know, deciding to be sure about something that is important to you. Certainty is an illusion, but having doubts and still knowing, that’s what gets us to accomplish our dreams whether those dreams involve another person or not.

2 responses to “When You Know, You Know

  1. this is great! i think, like with any major decision, its really difficult to express how or when you know. and i don’t mean buying a car or a major decision like that (although, you know when you find the right car…it just feels right 🙂 ). i think the best way to describe it is there’s this moment of clarity, this sort of epiphany, when you know what makes sense. its a very liberating feeling to know something so clearly.


  2. Hey Dmitry,

    Thank you so much for your comment. Major decisions always carry with them a certain amount of doubt and fear (otherwise why would we even call them major). For me there’s a liberating feeling when I actually make a decision and then also when I start taking steps in the direction of my vision and my decision.


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