I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who just celebrated his first wedding anniversary. As we were reminiscing about relationships, love, how we get from that first date to that moment when we know all we want is our person. He said: “You know, we had been together for a while and I always knew I was going to marry her. Then I went on this trip with some guys. While I was on the trip I just felt alone and realized I wished she had been there to experience everything with me. That’s when it hit me! I just wanted her. From then on, it was all about planning the perfect proposal.”
And that’s exactly what he did, he planned the perfect proposal, honoring everything he knew she would like, involving a surprisingly big group of people in the whole planning process, while at the same time managing to keep everything a secret from her.
When I asked him how he knew, how he was sure about it, he just talked about her love, her kindness, her loyalty, and a number of other things that he loved about her. Then he added: “Proposing for us is like deciding to have a baby for a woman. I think its okay to have doubts. I think its necessary to have doubts. Doubts can only help you figure out the path you want to take. Either to move forward with the plan or to backtrack.”
As he’s celebrating his first wedding anniversary and looking towards the future, there’s a glow on his face. He’s happy with his decision and going forward with his plan.
I realized knowing is not about being 100% sure, it’s about deciding you know, deciding to be sure about something that is important to you. Certainty is an illusion, but having doubts and still knowing, that’s what gets us to accomplish our dreams whether those dreams involve another person or not.