About a week ago I was talking to a friend of mine about giving and receiving support. She’s a strong woman, who’s always first to help everyone out, who always seems like she has everything handled, as if her feet are always firmly planted on the ground. She was a little upset as she had been going through a tough time and none of the people she had supported in the past were there to support her. When I asked her if she asked any of those people for support, she stopped for a second with a blank stare on her face. Her response struck me as I realized that I have had that reaction in the past too: “Why would I ask them, don’t they know when I need support?”
It got me thinking about this whole idea of expecting vs. asking for what we need. There are people who always seem a little weak and helpless, so they always just get support by default. But then there are those people who always seem like they have everything handled, the ones we all end up admiring because they seem to have superpowers. Yes most of the times, they do have it all handled, but then there are always those times when they would love to get some support. Those times become even more challenging for them because they don’t know how to ask for support and even when they get it, at times they don’t really know how to receive it because they’ve been doing things on their own for so long.
For all of us out there who can stand on our own two feet, but would love a little support from time to time and would love it if the people we love came to us once in a while and said: “How are you doing? What can I do to support you?”, maybe it’s time we stopped expecting that and we just started asking for what we need. Believe me, it won’t dent our superpowers. And for all of you who are around us, take a moment to ask us if we need anything, even when we don’t seem like we do. It will make your day and our day too.